Diary of a Newbie Runner: Confession Time

{By Ellery Sadler}


Alright, I’ve finally decided. I’m gonna do it. This is a very big day.

(And no, an adorable thief named Flynn Rider did not break into my house to take me to see the floating lights … bummer.) I am going to confess something to you. About my running.

 I stopped.

Yeah, I know, it’s pretty bad, but it wasn’t really my fault. I injured my knees and do what I would, they just needed a rest. And by rest I mean rest from running because now guess what I’m doing? Insanity. The world’s most awesome exercise program sure to leave you almost passed out on the floor in a pool of sweat. Yep. I’m serious.

I have done P90X twice, and felt pretty good about it. I mean, that is cool. But then – oh the glorious day! – we saw an infomercial on TV about Insanity.  Same company. Different program. And way way cooler. I’m Insanity all the way, y’all. It is just plain awesome. You think you’re in shape? Ha. I bet you’ll be almost dying by the time you are finished workout 1. And 5. And 35.

Ok, so this is how it works. You do this program for 60 days and become insanely fit and crazy strong. There are no weights or equipment involved, just you and your body and  the amazing Shaun T. yelling at you to keep going. Sounds good, right? You bet! So I tried it.

The first day I literally thought I was going to pass out afterwards. And I felt really really sick. This was crazy – who did this jumping and running and leaping and lurching anyway? Oh yeah, insane people. Like me.

So I kept doing it. Second day. Third day. Fourth day. Fifth. And now I’ve been doing it for 5 weeks. And let me tell you something: you will not get bored with this program. I know all you reluctant runners who are tired of the day to day plodding on that worn-out treadmill. Here is my advice to you: jump off for 60 days, try Insanity, and see if it doesn’t change you. (And it may even make you love running again … running is pretty tame compared to this, y’all.)

Let me explain to you how this works. I get my exercise clothes on, glance in the mirror  and yep, there staring back at me is a fit super-model with perfect hair and a smile only worn by very fit, very strong kind of people– haha, just kidding, there staring back at me is, well, me. I throw my hair into a ponytail and head down to our exercise room, bracing myself for what I know is coming. Insanity. Literally.

Shoving the dvd into my computer, I begin the warm up. And even the warm up will have you panting and sweating and wondering why you decided to do this in the first place. And then comes the actual workout. 3 minutes of intense exercise, then 30 seconds of rest. And I plunge into it, heart pounding, head pounding, eyes bulging staring at the screen where even the super-fit are falling on the ground in exhaustion, and I keep going.

By the time it’s all over, I feel partly like a king who’s just conquered his enemies, and partly like gladiator who barely escaped alive.

So, for the next little while, I will write Insanity posts until I can run again. And then I’m going to be a seriously newbie runner. Darn. I’ve got to start completely over again. But in the meantime, Insanity is the way to go.

Try it and see if you aren’t hooked. It’s pretty amazing, as long as you don’t mind almost dying ever morning before you start your day, jumping around like a maniac, eating healthy, dripping in sweat, looking a little wild-eyed and generally being just a little insane.

This is the good life.

But not quite as good as having Flynn Rider jump through your window after he’s been galavanting through the forest  … that is even better.